Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Definitely Worth the Wait!

There is no question to the hardest part of adoption... WAITING! From start to finish, our adoption took 19 months! We waited 9 months for a referral and 10 months after we found out Sarah was our daughter.

However, Emily's arrival was no less dramatic. After 2.5 yrs. of infertility and loss, I had a high-risk pregnancy almost from the beginning with spotting and then bedrest beginning at 22 weeks.

As every Guatemala adopting family remembers, November and December of last year were very dark and scary times during our adoption process with what seemed like a power struggle between the U.S. and Guatemala. Simultaneously, November 18, I went into the hospital with hard labor 4 months too soon. The fear of losing BOTH our daughters was very real. Those couple months were beyond my ability to cope emotionally and the Lord mercifully sustained me and my husband with HIS strength and grace.

I recount these hard days simply to REMEMBER the glories of God and the amazing things He has done! True, I fall into bed every night completely exhausted but the only tears I shed these days are ones of joy as I behold my two beautiful MIRACLES from God!

If you've read this far, I encourage you to read the very meaningful poem I've pasted below the girls' "out-takes". Found it a couple years ago and it's sentiment has been the "rock" behind my waiting! Oh yeah, I PROMISE to post pics of the girls' room soon... thanks for the requests : )

I could NOT get them both to smile at the same time!

Sisterly love : )

Naptime already?!?


Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried.
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, He replied.
I pleaded, and I wept for a clue to my fate,
And the Master so gently said, “Child, you must wait.”

“Wait? Your say wait?” my indignant reply.
“Lord, I need answers, I need to know why.
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I’m claiming your Word.
“My future, and all to which I can relate
Hangs in balance, and you tell me ‘wait’?
I’m needing a ‘yes’, a go-ahead sign,
Or even a ‘no’, to which I can resign.

“And Lord, you have promised that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
And Lord I’ve been asking, and this is my cry:
I’m weary of asking: I need a reply!”

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate
As my Master replied once again, “You must wait.”

So I slumped in my chair; defeated and taut
And grumbled to God; “So I’m waiting, for what?”
He seemed then to kneel and His eyes met with mine
And He tenderly said, “I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens, darken the sun,
Raise the dead, cause the mountains to run.

“All you see I could give, and pleased you would be.
You would have what you want, but you wouldn’t know Me.
You’d not know the depth of My love for each saint;
You’d not know the power that I give to the faint.

“You’d not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You’d not learn to trust, just by knowing I’m there.
You’d not know the joy of resting in Me,
When darkness and silence was all you could see.

“You would never experience that fullness of love
As the peace of My Spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you’d not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

“The glow of My comfort late in the night;
The faith that I give when you walk without sight;
The depth that’s beyond getting just what you ask
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

“And you never would know, should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that ‘My grace is sufficient for thee’.
Yes, your dreams for that loved one o’ernight could come true,
But the loss! If you lost what I’m doing in you.

“So be silent, my child, and in time you will see
That the greatest of gifts is to get to know Me.
And though oft’ may My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all...is still...wait.”
-Russel Kelfer


The Milner Family said...

What a beautiful poem. My heart fills with joy reading those words. It is true that all of God's no's, not now and please wait led to a deeper understanding of our Sovereign King. I knew that I was finally maturing in my faith when I was able to say that I would rather give up the opportunity to have another child than to loose all that I had gained in Christ through the trials and tribulations of infertility. The greatest gift I have ever received is to experience the intimate heart beat of God in all His Glory and to know him so personally. We are so blessed to have gone through such difficult times because we have seen and experienced the hand of God.

We are so happy that your family is all together now. It looks like you guys are having a wonderful time. How are all the kids adjusting?

Debbie said...

Love the pictures, and the poem is incredible! Thanks so much for sharing!

Anonymous said...

The poem is just what I needed at this time. As a grandmother, it has been really hard for me to see my daughter in so much pain from all this waiting. But your poem has helped me see the point and I feel so much peace at this time knowing that there will be an end to the wait and it will all be worth it in the end.

Both of your girls are beautiful and are really lucky little girls to have a mother who waited on them.

The Burtons said...

Hello, I first want to say thank you so much for posting that poem. I have been a "lurker" of your blog for sometime now and believe God led me to your blog one evening when I needed encouragement. We are currently still waiting to bring our little girl home from Guatemala after 15 months of waiting. She is currently 16 months old. We are now facing new deadlines and challenges with the Hague treaty and are facing the real possibliity that she may not come home. I belive God had you post that poem for a reason and my needing to read it was one of them.
Thank you so much.
Meredith Burton

Tony and Heather Snyder said...

Wow. What a great poem. In such an instantious society it is SO hard to wait but sometimes thats what God would have us do.

Ferrick said...

your heart is precious. Love seeing Christ in you and through you. Be blessed, Susie

Kristy said...

love that poem....thanks for sharing!! :)

Jami @ livelaughlove5 said...

Thanks for sharing. I completely agree, the waiting is so hard but so refining too!

God bless!!

David and Marianne said...

Dear "anonymous" grandmother, Thank you for visiting but more importantly thank you for investing your heart and your life in supporting your daughter through her adoption. Adoption certainly was one of the hardest things I've ever done, but having my family support me was of great strength to me. I will be praying for you and your daughter's journey... the Lord knows you both by name : )

lisa kindred said...

Wow! What a beautiful poem. I am sure it will touch many who read it! Your girls are so precious together. Can't wait to get our little girls together soon!
I am sure you are doing a great job as a new mommy of 4 now! Every day is a new day!
We are so happy for your family. Thanks for sharing your heart!
Love, Lisa

sarah marie said...

I doubt you know me, but your mom in law goes to my church and I worked at camp with Andy for a while. Anyway...I wanted to thank you for your blog and sharing that poem. We also were in the process of adoption from ethiopia, but then just found out we are pregnant! We'd been trying for 2 1/2 years too. With our agency we have to put the process on hold, but can pick it up 6 months after the baby is here. I definitely can relate to that poem though and I just wanted to tell you how meaningful and precious it is. THANKS!!

Whitney said...

Praise God for how He used these precious miracles to draw you closer to Him in the process!

We gotta get together!

Sarah said...

I heard that poem in highschool and nearly had it memorized once! It's one of my favorites but I had forgotten most of it after so many years. Thank you so much for telling how it touched your life and reminding me how it touched mine so many years ago.