I'm not ashamed to say I'm a "needy" person. I am. Fifteen yrs. ago I also was "needy" . Then, I needed from relationships (like friends, a boyfriend, or my parents) to provide me with security, worth, love, affirmation, encouragement,etc. My state of being seemed to hinge on the acceptance of others. Today, I still NEED those exact same things. But I need and receive them differently.... all of my identity and worth comes from my Father God and that's where I rest.
Just this past week I wrote in my journal(after a physically, emotionally and spiritually draining week... who am I kidding?... how about a month) that I really "needed" for Him to touch me, to show me in His divine way, His faithfulness and His love in a personal way. I feel most at home with my Lord in that genuine vulnerability because I know how He loves His children to come to Him in their weakness.
I knew He would answer me and reassure my spirit because He has ALWAYS been faithful. The question for me comes with "when?" and "how?"
The very next day He revealed Himself in personal way by answering a prayer request that I've prayed for 3YEARS!! But He didn't stop there, nope, 2 days after that, I was convicted in Sunday school that Dave and I need to be more intentional about spending time together alone for the strength of our marriage. But honestly, I thought "how?" We don't have time or $$, if you know what I mean : ) Anyway, not 5 minutes after class, a friend and sister in Christ held out a beautiful gift bag to me explaining God had been burdening her heart for me. What?? Really??
I opened the card and my eyes filled with tears as I realized God was revealing Himself yet AGAIN to me in a very personal way. The card and bag was filled with opportunity for Dave and I to go out together that included babysitting!! It also contained treats for me that were so perfect I know the Lord must have whispered the ideas right into her head. I felt so very loved by this blessed woman but EVEN MORE filled with LOVE for my Savior. He didn't have to give me a gift bag or an answered prayer, I just was so thankful that He chose to touch me and remind me of His everlasting love!
I'm so glad I serve a God who loves His "needy" children!